My Book of Memories; Forgetting Him ~ Final Act: Final Forever Crush

Today, I just overhead some girls talking about my crush changing college. The moment I heard it – I knew they weren’t joking, I mean: he was smart, clever, hot and everything. He could start a new life without a stalker, dumb, ‘hilarious’ girl following him. Just yesterday, every time I saw him I’d quickly go the other way or stare at my shoes because there were still many years before we would part, but now every time I see him I know there is one less time I can get to see him. I know I was just lying to myself – one day I would have to part with him, his warm eyes, beautiful smile, his good heart. I regret it now – I want to etch everything about him into my soul and remember it forever…

But the definition of crush is that a guy/girl who you like (in a relationship way) but he/her is not aware of your feelings, or in my case, someone who will not return those feelings. Then I thought: “If he will never think of me why should I think of him?” So I’ve decided. To forget him, live on my life.

And to write a Book of Memories, all those happy memories about him – the first time I met him, the time he found out I liked him, the sudden embarrassing meetings and all. I want to, one day, when I grow old, and become wiser with every step, open that book and smile remembering those memories, but I won’t be sad once I read them; I will be content.

I thank you for putting up with all of my crappy thoughts, if you kept with me till the end. I really wonder if anyone is having the same situation as me. I know this will get no views, but I wanted the world to know I feel. And I know my blog readers will be shocked because today my writing has been super beautiful and formal compared to my normal writing lol. And this will be my last writing about my crush.

And my last words,

Bye, my final forever crush!

<3 xx

I love you forever!

Eva!

 

 (God, this is like the manga Zettai Kareshi (Absolute Boyfriend) now. The main heroine said something like this in the ending of the manga. It was such a beautiful manga, a purely bittersweet ending)

(btw I also think ‘I want to etch everything about him into my soul and remember it forever…’ is also a quote from another beautiful manga called ‘Fushigi Yuugi Genbu Kaiden’, that sentence was said when the main heroine (Takiko) knew she was going to die but she had just married the main guy character (Uruki) and Takiko became the empress (yes it was set in the olden japanese era). And the part when Takiko dies is so so so sad). Dude I have no idea why I am incorporating manga shit into this post ._.

 

Subscribe, follow me, or recommended this post +1 on Google! (So much for this depression, content post :P)